We Gave Up Too Early

With this swelled eyes and this red nose. I decided to post how I feel right now. I feel horrible,such in a mess. I'm glad that I'm home alone now. I keep on my silence and suddenly cry over and over. I've done this for so many times and for the same reason I guess. Yap, a guy. "We" haven't too long with "our" relationship yet. -It's 2months- But, how come I cried this hard? I didn't know the answer either.
I feel like I'm lost. I didn't know where to go. Endure this horrible feeling on silence -like as I always did- Stupid me. I always thought that I'm tough strong girl. But, the fact? I'm not that tough strong girl. I'm really such in a mess. I didn't know what should I do after this. I'd rather telling how I feel this way. I think it's so much better. I'm typical I'll correct you if you're wrong. If I didn't,then I'm agree with you. I'll complain if I have to. But, when I don't. It means I'm into you. Guess some people had misunderstanding about my personality. Yeah,some people.
I think I've to back to my own game. 'Cause there's no us again. Being careless to people I care the most. At least, I should try. 'Cause it's not use,he disappointed with me already. Thanks for giving me choices to hold your right hand or your left hand then. Thanks for caring, protect, keep me feel safe eventhough just for 2month. I'm glad I had you once. Thanks for every single new experience that we've been done.Together. You're the first guy that had been given me all of it. Thanks for your advice to make me better on my birthday. Thanks for take attention with that "lampu ijo" tweet :') Thanks for the jacket that you gave and wore it to me. Thanks for the roses,you know what? you're the first guy who give it to me. Thankyou. Thanks for loving my brothers as well. You're also the first guy who really close to my brothers. Thanks for the sweetest moment that we've been through. We sang a song,both of us. Thanks for telling me that you won't leave me. Thanks for that beach thing :') Thanks for hugging me well. I love the feeling. Thanks for accompany me for every single day of my life. It won't be the same anymore after this. I should realize and I should know it before.
We gave up too early for "us". Sorry for letting you down too far. Sorry for being this quite. Sorry for making you cry to stupid things. Sorry for making you to be like this all the time. I'm sorry,but I love you :')
Sorry for being this introvert person. Sorry for making you disappointed. I didn't mean to. You always wondering to have doraemon's door. I guess I need his time machine one. I would fix myself and prepare to meet you. So, you don't have to feel this way. I wish I can get that one.
please let me stop crying,yaAllah :') and give me the strenght to arrange myself from the start. give me a direction to a better way just by myself and Your will,yaAllah :'''''''')

guess I'll have this unfinish posting in my draft :')